ABOUT ME
Feel more connected. Feel less alone.
Connection brings depth and meaning to our lives. When we understand and accept what’s happening within us, we can feel more comfortable being ourselves. When we let others see that side of us and approach them with openness, we build relationships in which we feel seen, heard and less alone.
For me, a fulfilling life starts with feeling at home with ourselves and truly connected to others.
Grounded in science.
CONNECTION
Connection doesn’t mean always getting along. We don’t have to feel the same way, agree on everything or resolve every conflict.
Two people can be different and still feel close. Connection grows when both can express what they feel, what they need and what matters to them—and make an effort to understand each other’s experience. We can see things differently without losing that sense of closeness.
The same is true within ourselves: different feelings and needs can exist side by side. We can want closeness and still need space. We can love someone and feel angry with them at the same time. Being connected to ourselves means noticing, understanding and accepting these contradictions, rather than pushing some feelings aside or judging ourselves for having them.
Understanding and accepting what’s going on inside me
Connecting with ourselves starts with noticing what’s going on inside us. What am I feeling? What brought this up? What might this feeling be telling me? What does it reveal about my needs, values or boundaries?
We don’t have to make sense of every feeling straight away. Sometimes, all we notice at first is a sense of unease, tension or dissatisfaction. As we give it our attention, what lies beneath can gradually become clearer. Perhaps we feel hurt because something mattered to us. Angry because a boundary was crossed. Or uncertain because we don’t know what a change will mean for us.
Being connected to ourselves means acknowledging our feelings and needs rather than dismissing or suppressing them. Every feeling has a place—but not every action we take in response is helpful. Understanding what’s going on inside us gives us more choice in how we respond.
Self-compassion is part of this: taking our feelings and needs seriously without being hard on ourselves when things are already difficult. This helps us make choices that reflect our values and take responsibility for our needs and boundaries.
Opening up to you—and being curious about your inner world.
Connection grows when we can share something of our inner world and feel seen, heard and valued.
That takes vulnerability: the courage to share our feelings, needs, hopes and fears, even though we can’t control how the other person will respond. Rather than simply criticising, we can explain what has hurt us. Rather than withdrawing, we can put into words what we’re afraid of or what we’re longing for.
Connection also takes empathy. It means staying curious about the other person’s experience, rather than dismissing, judging or trying to change their feelings. What are they feeling? What matters to them? What fear, need or wish might be behind their reaction?
Understanding doesn’t mean agreeing. We can understand why someone feels a certain way without accepting everything they do in response. Both people are allowed to have different needs, values and boundaries. Connection doesn’t come from making those differences disappear. It comes from seeing each other clearly and taking each other seriously, even where we differ.
Why connection matters more than ever
We’re almost always reachable these days—and yet we often feel alone. The whole world is at our fingertips, whether we’re on the sofa, sitting on a park bench or flying somewhere. That opens up wonderful possibilities for conversation, community and relationships across great distances.
At the same time, it’s become easier to avoid uncomfortable encounters. We can leave a message unanswered, cut off contact and find someone new with a swipe. Stepping back is always an option; working through our differences doesn’t always come as naturally.
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We grow closer through the difficult moments, too.
If, like me, you grew up in the nineties or earlier, you’ll remember a largely offline world. The people around us weren’t so easy to replace. When things got difficult, we often still had to see each other, talk and find a way through.
That wasn’t necessarily better. But deep relationships don’t develop because nothing ever goes wrong. They grow when we learn to stay connected through friction, disappointment and differences.
That doesn’t mean holding on to every relationship at any cost. Sometimes, letting go or setting a firm boundary is the right thing to do. Sometimes, though, it’s worth taking another look—and really listening to each other.
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Where’s our village?
Since becoming a parent, I’ve heard the same wish time and again: “I wish I had that village everyone talks about.”
They say it takes a village to raise a child. But that village doesn’t simply appear. It grows out of relationships given time to develop: spending time together, supporting one another and knowing we can count on each other. It also means talking through misunderstandings, finding boundaries that work for everyone and finding our way back to each other after conflict.
And this isn’t just something parents need. Whether we have children or not, don’t we all want people in our lives who make us feel seen, understood and liked—not just for what we do or how we present ourselves, but for who we really are?
I believe life feels less lonely and more fulfilling when we understand ourselves better, feel free to be who we are and approach others with openness. That’s why connection is at the heart of my work.
At home across cultures.
- Russia
- Germany
- Netherlands
- Belgium
- Today in the Munich area
My life has taken me across countries, languages and cultures. I was born in Russia and moved to Germany as a young child. My studies later took me to the Netherlands, then Munich, and finally Belgium for my PhD.
Each move brought a different set of unwritten rules: how people relate to one another, what’s considered normal, how affection is expressed and what’s expected of relationships, families and life itself. Seeing these differences taught me to consider other perspectives and question things I might otherwise have taken for granted.
Today, I live near Munich with my Australian husband and our two children. Different languages and cultural influences are part of our everyday family life, too. It’s a constant reminder that differences don’t have to divide us. They can spark curiosity, open up conversations and help us see possibilities we might otherwise have missed.
These experiences have deepened my understanding of how our backgrounds, relationships and surroundings shape what we take for granted. They’ve also shown me that there’s no single way to build a life or a relationship that feels right.
That’s why I’m less interested in whether a person or couple fits a particular ideal than in what works for the people involved—and how they can build a life or relationship in which they feel truly themselves.
From psychological research to counselling practice.
University of Groningen, The Netherlands
Ludwig-Maximilians-University Munich
Ghent University, Belgium
Bildungswerk für therapeutische Berufe
IFW Munich
Life Lessons
ABOUT MY SERVICES
Counselling is not psychotherapy.
I offer psychological and couples counselling for personal and relationship concerns. My work is intended to help you gain clarity, find direction and develop a better understanding of yourself and your relationships.
Counselling is not psychotherapy or medical treatment. I do not diagnose or treat mental health conditions. If you’re experiencing symptoms of a mental health condition, please speak to a doctor or a qualified psychotherapist. In some cases, counselling alongside treatment may be possible after we’ve discussed it together.